


Once and Future

by darthmelyanna, miera



Series: stargate_ren [25]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Renaissance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-16
Updated: 2009-04-16
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:05:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17265536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthmelyanna/pseuds/darthmelyanna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miera/pseuds/miera
Summary: A vacation to the mountains with his nephew becomes a life-altering journey for Prince Radek of Iolan.





	Once and Future

**Author's Note:**

> We apologize (again) for the delay in posting. Before we return to the main action in Atalan and Caldora, we take you back to Iolan to see how Prince Radek is faring after the Queen of Atalan's fateful visit.

The first half of the summer in Iolan had been unusually dry.

The endless bright skies and sunshine had not had much of a positive effect on the spirits of Prince Radek, as far as his sister could see. Though much occupied with affairs of state – especially the growing fear of drought – she worried over his condition.

Anger had been running high against Atalan since Queen Elizabeth had departed months ago and it became apparent that the Prince of Iolan had not been found worthy enough for her hand. No one in the royal circle said such things within the prince's hearing, but it was common knowledge through the court and the country that his suit had been rejected.

Of course, it was not hard to keep out of the prince's hearing since he spent most of his time alone when he was not tutoring his nephew. Though Radek had never been the most sociable of men, he was withdrawn even for him.

But Natalya was wise enough to find another reason to suggest her brother take a trip to the mountains rather than flatly stating she was hoping to cheer him up. One evening during supper she mentioned to him almost as an afterthought that she feared her son was spending too much of his time indoors in all this hot weather. A vacation to the royal estate in the foothills of the Talas mountains would do him good, but unfortunately, she doubted she could get away for any length of time.

It took very little prodding for Radek to offer himself as Prince Lukas' escort, and in short order the Queen Mother had secured Lady Jean Miller to attend her son as well. Natalya privately asked Lady Miller to keep a close eye on Radek as well and see if a change of scenery might lift his spirits a bit.

The day of the departure dawned, bringing terrible heat and heavy clouds. As the carriages rolled away from the palace in Rainier, it finally began to rain.

*~*~*~*

The manor house was rather plain compared to the palace, but Radek felt more at home in the modest surroundings of the royal family's mountain retreat than he generally did in the capital. He had expected to spend a great deal of his time in the fine library that remained in the house, but his nephew and his nephew's tutor constantly seemed to find ways of luring him outside.

On the journey to the lake, Radek and Lady Jean had agreed that they would suspend most of the young prince's lessons for a while. Radek was slightly ashamed that he hadn't noticed how listless and pale Lukas had become until it was pointed out to him. Perhaps it was lingering guilt that made him so susceptible to picnic lunches, though the heat had followed them from the coast and it was usually cooler to be out of doors during the day anyway.

The manor house was built near the point where one of the seven springs fed into the great Lake Odessa. It was not the largest lake in the foothills but it was one of the deepest, and the shoreline was spread before the house in a stunning view. However, the depth of the lake, the presence of many locals and the fishermen trawling the deeps meant it was not the ideal place for swimming. Instead, the royal family kept to a private pool in the woods behind the house. The stream which tumbled down from the Talas mountains was clear and cold, but generations ago one of Radek's ancestors had built a dam that had created a small, deep pond. The water was warmed slightly by the sun coming through a large gap the trees overhead, enough to make bathing tolerable, at least for those born to Iolan's climate.

Radek climbed from the water, shaking his head slightly to clear his ears, before flopping down onto the blanket spread on the soft grass. Lukas was still paddling merrily back and forth in the pool, and Jeannie was dangling her feet in the water and watching over him. The guards had followed them here, of course, though they were at a distance surrounding the pool where the prince-elect was watching the bubbles spread across the surface of the water. Otherwise they were alone.

Radek stretched out on his back, hands folded behind his head, and let the heat of the late afternoon lull his mind, as he had done nearly every day of the three weeks they'd been here. Part of him knew they ought to begin preparing to leave and return to the capital, but he was reluctant to mention it. Lukas was happy. Jeannie seemed content to look after him and sit quietly in the evenings reading, or sewing while she and Radek spoke of everything and nothing. Radek was himself enjoying letting go of his other responsibilities and forgetting everything for a little while.

Lying on the grass daydreaming made him feel like a boy again. He'd spent most of his summers here with Natalya and their mother while father dealt with the business of running the country, although the king used to insist on joining his family for a few weeks as well, during the times when the country was not in crisis. Radek had swum here in the pool just as Lukas did every day, had gone riding and had played games on the lawns in the evenings until it finally grew too dark to see.

At night they climbed up to the top floor of the house, where there was a terrace suitable for watching the stars. Just after Radek and his party had arrived here, in fact, everyone had stayed up quite late to watch as the moon was covered in darkness in the early hours of the morning, an event the scholars had been predicting for months. It had been both unnerving and beautiful to see.

He must have dozed off, because Radek blinked to find himself lying on his side, staring at something he couldn't identify right away. He rubbed his eyes and finally recognized the curve of Jeannie's arm and a single loose curl of hair that hung over her shoulder.

She turned to look at him and put a finger to her lips. Radek looked over and saw Lukas fast asleep on Jeannie's other side, curled up in a ball. He couldn't help grinning.

Sitting up made him groan slightly. "I fear I am growing too old to sleep on the ground anymore," he grumbled lowly.

Jeannie laughed softly. "I wonder what you will say when you truly begin to age, your Highness," she whispered back. It was a familiar discussion between them after all this time. Radek protested his age and Jeannie reminded him that he was not all that old. He suspected her rejoinders were because they were the same age and she did not like being reminded of that, but he wasn't foolish enough to say such a thing out loud.

Instead he muttered, "I shall be even more cantankerous than I am now, I'm sure." Jeannie chuckled and shifted, stretching her legs out before her, ankles decorously crossed. She and one of the maids had cobbled together a swimming costume suitable for the pool that protected her modesty but allowed her freedom to move about in the water. Radek could see her bare feet, though, and he wondered idly if he'd ever seen a lady's feet bare before, other than his sister.

Some weeks ago, even such an idle thought would have made him think of Elizabeth and fed the wound in his heart over her rejection. It had hurt when she confessed she had given her love to another man and could never love him that way. There had been moments during her visit when his hopes had risen that he could make her care for him, even though he knew affection could not be commanded, only earned.

And yet, the outcome had not surprised him. Elizabeth had always been more to him than a distant relative, even more than just a friend, but some part of him seemed to have always known she would never be his.

In the days after her departure, he'd withdrawn from the expressions of sympathy or anger from the court. It was a profound relief after the intense pressure of the visit, when every move and every breath felt like it was being observed by all eyes. Radek had never enjoyed the public scrutiny that came with his title much, and the experience of courting a woman – with or without success – in full view of the entire world had drained him beyond endurance.

If everyone was expecting him to be downcast and unsociable at the moment, well then he was merely meeting their expectations.

His heart still ached sometimes when he thought of Elizabeth, of the hopes and dreams he'd spent years nurturing in the back of his mind, but now he felt more restless than anything, as though he'd woken up after too long a sleep. He was a free man again, in a sense, without the pressure regarding his future hanging over his head. The Prince of Iolan, uncle to the future king, and to an extent master of his own destiny once more. He could indulge his royal whims and remain here, secluded in the mountains and revel in privacy and peace.

He snorted to himself. He was certainly waxing poetic with all this lounging about idly on holiday.

Jeannie looked at him questioningly, but he shook his head at her, not wanting to explain. Thankfully, she did not press him, and Radek knew her well enough by now to know it was not respect for his rank that made her hold her tongue. Jeannie was a remarkably pleasant companion, never forcing anyone's confidence or making anyone feel uneasy. A few infrequent guests here from the neighboring nobility had looked at her askance at first, a woman of such low position being placed in virtual charge of the future king, but a few minutes in her company would erase their worries.

To be sure, he'd seen flashes of Rodney's temper in Jeannie from time to time. She had little patience for sloppiness or rudeness in anyone. He'd teased her about seeing her likeness to her brother, which had only made her glower and mutter maledictions under her breath at him. Radek found her occasional snarling rather endearing, given how calm and poised she strove to appear the rest of the time.

Her hair was beginning to come loose from the knot she had gathered it into before swimming. Radek reached out to brush several of the thick curls of hair back over her shoulder without thinking. It was only when his hand brushed her neck and he felt the heat and dampness of her skin against his fingertips that his mind caught up with his actions.

He was frozen for a moment, his chest suddenly constricting even as he watched Jeannie's shoulders rise with a sharp breath. He was painfully aware of her closeness, of the warmth he could feel along his side from her, of the way the wet bathing clothes still clung to her body, and of the soft skin of her throat and the way the curls of her hair brushed against the backs of his fingers as lightly as silk.

Almost of their own volition, his eyes darted to her lips before meeting her gaze. She looked back at him and he wanted more than anything right then to lean in and kiss her. He didn't care about the fact that there was a sleeping child mere inches away, or that there were guards surrounding them, not when she looked at him like this.

Lukas chose that propitious moment to stir and Radek jerked his hand away while Jeannie composed herself and turned to deal with the cranky child. She avoided meeting Radek's gaze while as she and his nephew gathered their belongings and headed back to the house to clean up and prepare for supper.

They left him sitting alone, trying to get his bearings on the suddenly shifting ground. When he finally roused himself to follow them into the house, he was still at a loss, and very much uncertain as to what, exactly, had just happened.

*~*~*~*

The maid who came into help Jeannie dress for dinner was a motherly old soul, and ordinarily Jeannie enjoyed chatting with the woman. Today, she was completely distracted, but also grateful someone else was there to ensure she dressed herself properly and fixed her hair. She wasn't certain she could think clearly enough to do it all herself just now.

Out by the pool, for a moment, it had looked like... she had thought Radek...

It was nonsense, she told herself firmly. She was greatly over-exaggerating the space of a single breath into something it was not. Something it could not be. Something she had been struggling to suppress as rank madness for months.

He was the Prince of Iolan. She was a commoner who had married a nobleman. She was honored that the prince considered her a friend and trusted her enough to put the education of the future king in her hands. She must content herself with that. She knew she could never hope for more.

Had she not observed him, along with the entire rest of the country, courting a queen? A woman she knew he cared for greatly, no less.

That, of course, had been when she began to realize her affection for Radek had begun to swell from mere friendship into something else. She was not ready to call it love, not even in the deepest part of her heart. It was not the same feeling she had cherished for her late husband. This was not the breathless, heady whirlwind of youth. This was different. This was... a mere passing fancy on her part that she absolutely must not allow anyone to see. Her share of the McKay pride rebelled at the thought of anyone discovering her secret, especially Radek.

What if she'd given herself away already, though?

"I fear you were out in the sun too long today, my lady," the maid observed, recalling Jeannie from her thoughts.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, looking into the mirror where she could observe the woman plaiting her hair neatly.

The maid nodded at her. "Your cheeks are as pink as your dress. You should not stay out in that hot sun so much during the day, my dear. 'Tis not healthy."

Jeannie made a noncommittal reply, aware that it had not been the sunlight that had brought the flush to her face. When her hair was neatly arranged she stood, smoothing her dress down absently. It was new, a gift from the queen mother, the first color she had worn since her husband's death.

Several nights ago, she had worn the dress and Radek had compared her to one of the blush-colored roses in the back garden.

For a moment she panicked, afraid that choosing this particular dress after this afternoon's events would appear in the wrong light. Before she could change her mind about the dress, though, the clocks chimed the hour and it was time to go to supper.

Firmly reminding herself that she was not a silly schoolgirl, she composed herself to go downstairs. She would not allow this foolishness to jeopardize her friendship with the prince or the royal family. She would behave like the mature woman she was.

Her resolve lasted long enough to get her down the stairs and into her seat at the table. Because their party was so small, she and Radek ate with Lukas and his nurse. It was an exceptionally quiet meal, even by their standards. For all her effort, Jeannie could barely bring herself to look at Radek. She didn't know what she feared more: that he would look as self-conscious as she felt, or that he would be staring at her in bafflement for her behavior. Lukas chattered somewhat, but his afternoon nap had left him crankier than usual, and his nurse was occupied with reminding the boy of his table manners frequently.

When it was time for the young prince to go to bed, Jeannie offered, somewhat hurriedly, to read his usual bedtime story. She told herself it was to provide his weary nurse a short break, but the truth was she was seized with fear of being alone with Radek just yet. Once she had the chance to calm her nerves more, she would be all right.

Lukas was unusually obliging about getting into bed and was nearly asleep before she finished the fairy tale. Jeannie left the nursery quietly and hesitated. Usually in the evenings she went to the library or the patio outside it, to take in the cool air and sit with Radek for a time before retiring for the night. Instead, she headed for the terrace, where they had all watched the strange events in the sky a few weeks ago, hoping to compose herself in solitude.

She was half-terrified that Radek would find her, and half-hoping he would come.

*~*~*~*

Radek paced the patio restlessly. Every noise made him turn and look, but Jeannie didn't appear as she usually did in the evenings. It was long past the point where Lukas should be asleep, but he couldn't make himself inquire of a servant whether Lady Miller had retired for the night.

So he paced. And tried to comprehend what had taken hold of him today.

Half the time he felt like a fool. For heaven's sake, it had been one moment, nothing more than a stray impulse. The seclusion of the house, having so few people here, created an atmosphere of intimacy. And he was a grown man who would have to be blind and deaf not to have noticed that Jeannie was an extremely beautiful woman. He had simply had a moment where he realized it anew, that was all.

He could have brushed it off as his own momentary and meaningless distraction, except Jeannie had been avoiding him all evening, and leaving him out here alone was further proof of that. She had seen something, felt something too. And Radek didn't know what that meant.

He sighed, turning away from the sight of the moonlight on the lake before him and back towards the house. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of something light-colored above him. Suddenly he knew where Jeannie was, and since standing around down here was getting him nowhere, he went into the house and climbed the stairs as calmly as he could manage.

*~*~*~*

"You are avoiding me."

Jeannie startled and whirled around, her hand at her throat. She had lingered out on the terrace, staring up at the skies for some time, until she could soothe her nerves and work her mind into a calmer state.

All of which was thrown over the side the instant Radek appeared behind her. Her heart jumped and Jeannie shook her head in automatic denial, her eyes darting away from him even as she noticed how the moonlight accentuated the handsome lines of his face. "No, my lord, I..."

Radek advanced towards her. The night was still, and she could hear each word he spoke even though his voice was low. "Do not lie to me, Jeannie. You have not looked me in the eye since this afternoon."

He reached out and took hold of her hand. His skin was warm and his fingers were strong and solid around hers. She tried to bring her gaze to his, to remain calm, but his expression was knowing. She looked away, embarrassment heating her cheeks. "You must think I am a fool."

"Jeannie," he tilted her chin so that she had to look towards him. "You are many things but I am certain no one could ever call you a fool, least of all me."

She smiled slightly at that, but still tried, unsuccessfully, to extricate her hand so that she could leave and hopefully recover her dignity in private. "I thank you for that, your Highness, but-"

"Radek." His fingers caressed her cheek and he cut off her well-meaning excuses. "We're alone here, Jeannie, and I wish you to call me by my name."

She was very well aware of how alone they were, and of what the look in his eyes portended. In spite of herself and all her careful resolutions, all thought of leaving fled. She spoke before she could think, whispering his name lowly just before he kissed her.

At first Radek just pressed his lips against hers, but perhaps because she did nothing to push him away, his other hand cupped her head and drew her closer as his lips slid gently across her mouth. Jeannie found herself holding onto him for balance as he explored her lips with slow deliberation that made her heart race and her body warm.

In the darkest hours of night, she had wondered idly and almost ashamedly what it would be like to kiss him – indeed, more than kiss him. She knew his temperament was normally one of care and thoroughness mixed with flashes of passion. She'd never permitted herself to dwell on such wildly improper ideas for very long, but apparently they had stoked her own longing, for when he coaxed her lips to part she allowed it, welcoming him in as he deepened the kiss.

She could not keep back the tiny sound she made as his tongue continued to explore her mouth any more than she could keep her hands from clinging to the sturdy muscles in his shoulders. Radek's hands were sliding up and down her neck, touching her hair and wrapping around her back to draw her impossibly closer and a hunger deep within her that Jeannie had not felt for a long time began to wake.

When she returned his kiss, Radek groaned, fingers flexing in her hair, and she was abruptly aware of the solid heat of his body through the layers of her dress. With no regard to propriety or privacy, she let herself fall fully against him, wanting the contact as much for herself as for him.

They were kissing rather wildly by now, and she was so lost in the sensations that it took her a moment to realize he was drawing away. Humiliation and shame flooded through her at her own forwardness, but Radek did not let her suffer in such a state for long. He seized her hands and pulled her away from the edge of the terrace where they had been standing, and where anyone walking by below could have seen them. She let him lead her and then found herself with her back against the wall of the house, with Radek pressing her body into the cool stone and his lips hot against her neck.

For one moment she thought of telling him to stop, then his mouth found a particularly sensitive place underneath her ear and Jeannie shuddered involuntarily, her head falling back against the wall and a low sound of pleasure escaping her as she surrendered to the moment once more.

*~*~*~*

When Radek had drawn close enough to Jeannie to finally kiss her, he could not stop the thought from chasing through his mind, "Dear heavens, I am shorter than she is." It was not by much, but it had been enough to prick his ego.

The way Jeannie had been staring at his mouth, the way the moonlight had silvered her pretty hair and cast shadows across her throat and her bosom had pushed such thoughts from his head swiftly as the need to kiss her had overtaken him.

Now, as he crowded her up against the rough wall of the house, he used that slight difference in their heights to his advantage, exploring every inch of her sweet skin and finding every place along her neck that made her gasp or shiver under his touch. Her hands rose from his shoulders to touch his hair and he breathed in her scent, aware of the aching in his body at how close she was and how wonderful she smelled in the night.

He had not been with any woman in years. As a young prince and heir presumptive, it had been difficult to avoid the temptations that position offered him. He'd had a few indiscretions but then Natalya had borne her child and lost her husband in short order. Radek found himself with the obligations of a mentor and role-model and had become far more circumspect in his behavior with the women of the court.

Now all those years of solitude seemed to have melted into fire that poured through his veins. He raised his head and took Jeannie's mouth again in a harsh kiss even as one of his hands crept up to her breast. She did not object, only kissed him back with a ferocity that awed him, and some part of his mind knew that if he did not stop this soon, he was close to committing an indiscretion that would trump any indulgence of youth.

He managed to drag his lips away from hers and rested his forehead against Jeannie's. He forced his hands to fall to her waist and closed his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control.

"Radek, we need to stop," she whispered, her own breathing labored and her hands still holding his shoulders.

"I know," he murmured back. His body protested that idea vehemently, but whatever his baser instincts were urging him to do, he respected her too much to take advantage of her in such a way. He could not take her to bed merely to satisfy a momentary surge of lust. She deserved better treatment than that.

Neither of them moved right away, until she huffed out a short laugh. "One of us needs to let go, Radek."

He laughed as well and took a step back, disentangling their limbs reluctantly. Jeannie remained leaning against the wall. Her hair was somewhat mussed from his hands and her gown was rumpled. Even in the dim light of the moon, he could see that her mouth was red from his kisses and unless he was imagining it, there were pink marks on her neck from his touch.

In that moment, in spite of – or perhaps because of – the disarray of her appearance, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. It took all of his willpower not to step forward again and continue what they had been doing.

Jeannie was staring at him as well and Radek realized he must look as disheveled as she did. As one they looked away from each other and began straightening their clothing. When they were finished, he steeled himself. It was growing late and he knew it would be best to get away from temptation sooner rather than later.

But he had to say something to her. He just had no idea what it was. The silence between them was growing more awkward by the moment until he finally blurted out the truth. "Jeannie, I do not know what it is that I am feeling right now."

She raised her eyebrows with a knowing expression that made his ears burn and he looked away sheepishly. "I meant, I do not know what it will lead to, if anything." Her eyes fell from his and he winced. He had not intended it as a reminder of the difference in rank between them. He hurriedly added, "I do not want to mislead you, or risk deceiving you with regard to my intentions."

Jeannie nodded. "I understand, but Radek, I am not a blushing girl anymore."

He clamped down on his body's reaction to that reminder. "Yes, but you are my friend, and a respectable lady, and you deserve to be treated as such. I won't dishonor you or myself by... that is I will not use you merely to..." He stammered and fell silent. He knew that Jeannie was well aware of what he was alluding to, but he could not bring himself to be quite so vulgar out loud.

He could not read her expression, whether it was relief or disappointment, but she straightened and offered him a small smile. "Perhaps we should first wait and see what the morning brings? It may be dawn will return us both to our right senses."

He replied before he could think. "I fervently hope not."

Her laughter in response was warm and he offered her his arm politely as they went into the house, grinning at one another.

*~*~*~*

Life in the capital relaxed somewhat when the rains returned. It seemed the fears regarding drought might be avoided after all. The queen mother began to consider possibly venturing up to the summer estate to spend some time with her son and brother away from the pressures of the court.

But news began to trickle in that people were falling ill in the poorer sections of Rainier. It seemed the rains had brought vermin back in greater numbers, and some sort of pestilence was spreading through the city. People were falling ill, and the physicians seemed mystified by the symptoms. Natalya decided she should remain for a few more days before leaving for the mountains.

*~*~*~*

It had been an old joke at home that Rodney was the dreamer while Jeannie was the realist in the family. She could not say if it was something born into her or learned, but all her life, Jeannie had never been able to pretend away her troubles or the truth. Now she could see herself pursuing a course of action that would lead to nothing but heartbreak, yet despite knowing backwards and forwards the reasons to stop, she did not change her behavior.

When the prince flirted with her, she flirted back. When he reached for her, she closed the distance and clasped his hand tightly. When he kissed her, she not only allowed it, but encouraged him in taking liberties she should never have considered.

What she had told Radek was true. She was not a virginal girl anymore. She understood what lust between two people led to whether they were married or not. Shameful though it was, she could not deny that her body was craving his attentions, barely held back by the knowledge of what damage could be done to her reputation if some parlor maid wandered in some evening and found the prince entangled with his nephew's tutor.

Nothing had changed. He was still the prince of the country and she was still a widow and the child of a commoner.

But she cared for him, and each day made her more aware of how deeply Radek had crept into her heart over the months. And his teasing and smiles and the quiet compliments he whispered to her when they were alone (or when he thought he could get away with it without being overheard) made her feel happier than she had in a long time.

In the week that had passed since that night on the terrace, Radek had not spoken of his intentions at all, or what his expectations of the future were. She could hardly blame him. The state of things was new and fragile and wonderful and bewildering all at once. She did not wish to disturb the pleasant way they were drifting through the days together herself by bringing up the inevitable: the return to the capital and life in the court, and what would happen if their growing attraction to one another was discovered. She flinched whenever she thought of the supercilious busybodies of the royal court sneering at her and speaking of her contemptuously as the prince's mistress. She could already conjure other insults, that she was a convenient indulgence until the prince found someone more suitable, that it was understandable in the wake of his disappointment with the queen of Atalan he would turn to some cheap and readily available comfort, and so on.

At the same time, Jeannie was beginning to wonder to herself why she was so afraid of the future. Yes, her birthright was no match for Radek's, but if the noble-born only married other nobles, they would have died out by now. In the past men reigning as kings had married women of even lower station than her. Surely the prince of Iolan could marry whomever he wished. And since he was no longer the future king of the nation, it would not be of concern to anyone but himself and his immediate family.

And a woman fortunate enough to be married to Radek would care little for the petty jealousies of others.

Whenever her thoughts strayed that far, Jeannie brought them up short. She cared for him, and she knew Radek cared for her very deeply. His words and even more the looks he gave her were testament enough of that. But there were many things yet unsaid between them, and many things that would need to be considered before such a subject could even be raised. She knew him too well to believe he would be impetuous about such a decision, and she respected that.

But that realistic side of her own mind continued to assert itself. Jeannie had had love in her life before, and lost it unexpectedly and cruelly. She knew how capricious fate could be, and resolve grew within her as the weather turned unsettled and stormy. She did not wish to push Radek, but she had little doubt that while he might not know for certain if they were suited to be partners for life, he desired her fiercely.

Life had taught her not to waste opportunities.

It was growing late in the night but the storms which had descended on the lake had not abated by much. Lukas, thankfully, was asleep despite the noise and light. Jeannie closed the door to the nursery silently and went to the other door into her room. She paused for a moment, checking the belt of her dressing gown nervously, before creeping into the hallway. The door to Lukas' room was around a corner, so the guards did not see her. And Radek did not allow the guards to remain outside his room at night, preferring them to focus on his nephew instead.

She hesitated at his door again, but then slipped into the room without knocking.

She half-expected to find Radek sleeping, but the bed was empty, though rumpled. He was standing near the windows, silhouetted against the flash of lightning outside, and she realized he was wearing nothing but a thin pair of trousers. Her heart began to race.

"Jeannie?" He had turned when the door closed behind her. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes," she assured him hastily, not wishing him to think something was wrong with Lukas. "I just... could not sleep."

Radek grinned at her. "I would have thought you too old to be frightened of a summer storm, my lady."

Jeannie shot him a look. "Storms like this always make me restless," she explained, drawing closer. Even in the low light coming through the windows, she could see the way he was watching her approach, and the way his chest moved with his breathing. She took another step closer, almost touching him, and her hands went to the knot of her belt and untied it, fumbling only a little. Without another word she let the dressing gown slide from her shoulders. She caught it and draped it over the nearby chair before gathering her nerves to face him.

Radek's jaw was hanging open slightly and his eyes were roving over her, standing before him in nothing but a thin nightgown that left little hidden. He said her name in a low, almost pained tone and she saw his hands move restlessly, as if he wished to reach for her and restrained himself.

She closed the gap between them, her hands going to his bare shoulders as his arms closed about her waist instinctively. Ignoring the thrum of anxiety in her belly, she leaned forward and kissed him.

Radek kissed her back and his hands slid up and down along her spine before settling slightly lower than her waist. She could feel the warmth from his palms through the thin material of her nightgown and the answering warmth blooming deep within her body. When his lips parted from hers, she whispered his name, not bothering to hide the longing in her voice.

He leaned his forehead against hers, and she could feel his heavy breaths against her face. "Jeannie, I do not wish to use you in this way."

She shifted her body, rubbing against him and well aware of the evidence of his reaction to her advances. "What if I want you to use me this way?"

"I won’t _use you_ at all," he growled, taking her by the shoulders. "You are more to me than this."

"I know," she replied, refusing to let him push her away. "You're more to me than just an object of lust, Radek."

He paused at that, and she grinned at the conflicted expression she could see in the light flickering in through the windows. He was somewhat shocked to hear her admit so openly to her desires and simultaneously pleased by her words. She wrapped her arms around his neck, gratified by the way his eyes couldn't stay on her face and dropped down before he made himself look back at her. She continued, "I spoke the truth that night on the terrace. I'm not an innocent girl with no understanding of what happens between a man and a woman in bed. I don't need to hear promises, Radek. It's too soon to be sure what will happen in a week, or a month or longer." He touched her cheek with gentle fingers and she drew in a steadying breath. "This is what I want now, if you wish it."

He looked at her for a moment, and even in the dim, uneven light his blue eyes were piercing. "I do not believe I have ever," he said slowly, drawing her flush against his body. "Wanted anything more than I want this," he told her, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her deeply. Jeannie couldn't stop the small noise that broke from her as he tightened his hold on her waist and kissed her so hard she grew lightheaded.

His fingers tangled in her hair and her body was shifting against his on pure instinct, but he drew away one more time, framing her face in his hands. "Are you certain about this?" he asked quietly. "I couldn't bear it if I hurt you, Jeannie."

Jeannie was somewhat exasperated. Who knew it could be so hard to seduce a man like this? She raised her eyebrows. "Has your opinion of me suffered in the last five minutes?" she asked, a bit tartly.

His lips twitched. "It has gone up several notches," he admitted with a grin. "I knew you were a forthright woman, but I had no idea it extended to this."

She snorted, not one of her most ladylike traits, but she decided she didn't care at the moment. She began to back up towards the bed, drawing her with him. "Your opinion is the only one that matters to me. I don't care what the foolish tongues of idle gossips say about me, so long as you aren't disappointed."

He kissed her at that, causing them both to stumble as they tried to keep moving across the room. "You could never, ever disappoint me, darling," he murmured against her lips, the endearment slipping out without either of them really being aware of it. Radek kissed her jaw, then her neck, and she could just make out the words he muttered into her skin. "I won't hurt you. I won't let you be hurt by this..."

His hands were groping down her sides eagerly by then. Jeannie reached for the hem of her nightdress and pulled it up and out of the way, tossing it aside hastily. Radek let out a ragged sound as lightning flashed brightly outside and he saw her nude body for the first time. Then his hands and his mouth were seemingly everywhere at once. He urged her onto the bed, following hurriedly, and she lost track of the time as he kissed and touched and aroused her already-inflamed body until she nearly ripped at his thin trousers with her own hands.

When they were both naked, when he was at last sheathed inside of her, Radek propped himself up above her and just rested there, with a look of wonder on his face as his hand cupped her cheek. Her heart sped up further, and Jeannie knew that she couldn't hide from her feelings or the proper name for them any more. Radek leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.

"Love you," she breathed out as he started to move.

She drew him into a deep kiss and clung to him as her body matched his movements and the storm outside finally began to wane.

*~*~*~*

Radek woke as the gray light of morning seeped into the room. It was the first time in years he had not woken up alone, and for some time he lay still, staring at the woman lying asleep next to him with something akin to awe.

Jeannie was curled up against his side, her hair in wild disarray and he could see at least one light pink mark on her skin that he knew he had given her. His own body was pleasantly sore from the previous night, but not so sore that he was not already calculating ways to coax her awake. It seemed one mostly-sleepless night had not been enough to quench his thirst for her skin.

He suspected it would take more than a few nights to accomplish that, if it was even possible.

If he hadn't already lost head and heart to this woman, the way that she had brazenly come to him to seduce him would have sealed his fate. He smiled even as he shifted to hover over her, propped up on one elbow. For someone so rational and intelligent, she could be quite reckless at times. He wasn't about to complain, though, when this was the result.

He knew last night had changed things between them, and he knew, now, where this road would lead. It was too soon to speak of the long-term, of course. They needed more time, needed to consider calmly what the future could bring before he could ask her for any commitment. But they had time. They could linger here in the manor for another few weeks, probably, away from the prying eyes of the court. Hopefully by then, things would be settled.

It was going to be difficult enough to conceal their affair here. Trying to sustain that in the capital with the multitude of people and servants always around the palace would be almost impossible.

Radek intended to enjoy freedom while they had it, although he knew it was growing late and Jeannie would need to slip back to her own room soon. He lifted several thick curls of hair out of his way and began to trail feather-light kisses along her exposed neck. Jeannie stirred, half-protesting and half-pleased as he moved higher and his lips grazed her ear.

A loud knock at the door made them both jump.

They stared at each other in sheer panic for a moment, then Radek sprang from the bed. They were both still naked and the servant outside was calling for him insistently. He grabbed Jeannie's discarded nightgown from the floor and tossed it at her, then dragged the bed curtains closed. He just managed to pull on his own dressing gown when the door opened a fraction. "Highness, forgive me, are you awake?"

His valet was speaking through the door, his eyes averted. Radek moved closer to the doorway, the better to keep anyone from entering the room. "Yes, what is it?"

The man bowed. "Forgive me for intruding, my lord. A courier has come from the capital with an urgent message for you. He declared it was a matter of life or death."

Radek froze for a moment, unwelcome fear seizing him. He paused for one second, just stopping himself from glancing back into the room, where he knew Jeannie had heard everything. He nodded. "I am coming." He hastened from the room, the valet trailing behind him, without bothering to dress.

*~*~*~*

A matter of hours prevented Prince Radek from seeing his sister in life one last time, but Natalya was lost in the throes of the fever well before he arrived. Had he reached the palace in Rainier in time, she would not have been sensible of his presence in any case.

Radek sat, alone, in his sister's room for some hours, turning away inquiries from servants and the nobles clustered anxiously in the palace until darkness had covered the capital. When he finally appeared, his face had not lost the stunned look nor the circles of exhaustion under his eyes. He lingered only long enough to order a message sent to the manor house to summon Prince Lukas and his escort back to Rainier.

He left the planning of the funeral to the staff and retreated to his room. He did not emerge again until the next morning.

*~*~*~*

Jeannie could hardly get her mind around the difference between the journey to the foothills and the one that returned them to the capital. The weather when they left had been muggy and dismal. The sun was shining brightly and crisper air had settled over the coast now, and the cheerfulness of nature seemed almost an insult to the grief of the nation, in particular the little boy staring somberly out the carriage window as they entered the city.

Jeannie noticed people were looking at the carriage and beginning to recognize Lukas. Silently she reached over and drew the curtain to hide him. The poor little one did not need to be gawked at right now.

Telling Lukas that his mother had died had been one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do.

When she was not worrying about the little prince, her mind could not help but fret over what this tragic turn of events would mean for the other Prince of Iolan. For the first time in her life, she was looking forward to being in court, because returning would allow her to learn what decisions had been made about the future. Away up in the mountains she'd been cut off from most sources of information, and while she had a far more personal stake in the issue, she knew there was one question haunting everyone in Iolan.

Would Radek rule as regent, or king?

There was no other who could act as regent on behalf of Lukas. Not only was Radek most suited to such a task, but there was no other person in Iolan who could function in such a role. Aaron, the Marquis of Kensmere, was far too young. The Duke of Norfolk, the most powerful man in the country aside from the royal family, had only just assumed his title after the death of his elderly mother. While there were cousins to the royal family living in Iolan and abroad, none of them had the training or experience to rule the country. Radek had both.

But he was also the only surviving child of the last monarch of Iolan. Natalya had ruled as Queen Mother and Regent, not as queen. The letter of the law did not give the crown to Lukas when she died.

Of course, the letter of the law, as far as Jeannie was concerned, had been tossed aside when the old king had died and Natalya had been given primacy over her brother in the first place. That was an opinion Jeannie kept mostly to herself and one she had been careful never to share with Radek.

But conditions in Iolan were different now than they had been four years ago. Jeannie did not know what would happen and she found herself almost angry over it. Though she wanted to ascribe the feeling to her own pride in her understanding, she knew deep down that her heart was panicking. If Radek had been out of reach as a mere prince, what would happen to them if he were named king?

*~*~*~*

Radek remembered vividly when his father had died, almost four years ago. The king had been in good health and relatively young, and his death had been a horrific shock. Radek remembered the feeling of numbness that had spread through him and not let go for months.

He felt something similar now, two days after his sister's funeral.

Over the years he'd wondered more than once if that numbness had been the reason he hadn't fought as hard as he could have against Natalya's push to claim the throne for herself. If he hadn't been so devastated by his father's loss, would he have done more, been more direct? Natalya's desires had never been a secret. She'd been his elder by many years, and had been vocal about her opinion regarding the entailment of titles to sons rather than the oldest child since Radek was a boy. For years she nagged and berated their father to change the tradition by naming her his heir. When their father died so abruptly, without a chance to issue a decree of any kind naming his successor, Natalya dried her tears efficiently and then set about achieving her goal while Radek was still in the throes of grief.

He looked around the room at the assembled lords of Iolan. When his father had died, two men had become the rallying points for the sides of the debate. Frank Simmons, the Marquis of Columbia, was dead, executed for treason after a swift trial. Columbia's lands remained in the hands of the crown for the moment.

The Marquis of Kensmere had died last year, and now his place was taken by his son Aaron, who had not yet had time to build up the list of grievances his father had clung to like a shield, the bitterness that had left him eager to support Natalya as a way to strike back at the king. Aaron was loyal to his father's memory, but the incident with Simmons had shaken him. Even withdrawn from much of court life these last few months, Radek had been aware the young marquis had been taking a closer interest in the issues affecting the nation rather than whiling all his time away in various beds around the court.

In less than four years, the guard had changed in Iolan. Nowhere was that more evident than with the man who was speaking now. Frederick, the Duke of Norfolk, had succeeded his formidable mother, Elena, mere weeks ago when she finally succumbed to old age. Elena had been duchess since Radek's grandfather's time, and no one was yet used to not seeing her stern face within the chambers of the assembly.

Norfolk's argument, however, had not changed from four years ago.

"My lords, the law is clear on this matter. The throne passes to the heir of the last monarch. Queen Mother Natalya, may she rest in peace, ruled well and fairly but she was never crowned ruler of Iolan. Her father the king was the last monarch, and his direct heir sits before us. The crown of Iolan is Prince Radek's by right."

"My lord duke," Aaron of Kensmere replied, somewhat nervously. "You know that you are reopening a question which was already settled. When the king died so unexpectedly, this body convened to settle the question of the succession and it was done. The prince himself accepted the outcome. If it were ten years hence and Prince Lukas had reached his majority before his mother passed, we would not be having this discussion."

A babble broke out in the room at that, which eventually died away. Lord Jarek, who was a friend and mentor to Aaron, looked discomfited. "But it is _not_ ten years in the future, Lord Aaron. Prince Lukas, bright and clever though he may be, is still a small child, and leaving rule of the country in his hands is out of the question. With his mother to act as regent, we were more secure, but such a young boy would be an easy pawn to be used in political games without the protection of his mother." Jarek politely left unmentioned Natalya's more vicious survival instincts, which had allowed her to survive court intrigues and rule while protecting her son but which had not won her many friends over the years.

"And we would not be secure in trusting the regency to his uncle?" Aaron asked dubiously. There was an uncomfortable shifting across the room as everyone glanced towards Radek, who remained in his seat with his face carefully impassive.

"No one doubts that Prince Radek would serve honorably and charitably to shepherd the country for his nephew's rule," Jarek put in. "There is no one better suited to serve as regent of Iolan."

"Those qualifications are the same reason why Prince Radek should be given his rights and serve as king," Frederick shot back. "The nation needs a strong, mature leader in these times."

Aaron was clearly beginning to lose patience, for he snapped at Frederick, "And four years ago were we not in need of a strong, mature leader as well?"

"We are looking at a vastly different landscape than we were four years ago," argued another lord who was from the mountainous region in the south of the country. "In just this past season we have seen a resurgence of enemies both on the sea and on land, with the Goa'uld once again active. And we have seen one of our own revealed as a traitor and spy for our enemy." The reminder of Simmons, who had been Radek's staunchest supporter in the last discussion of the succession, made a number of the men in the room wince.

Nobody spoke for a moment, then Frederick, who was looking at Radek, turned to the room. "My lords, we must remember our own duty to our country. We made a decision four years ago. It may have been the right decision at the time, but it does not change that we must choose again, and choose wisely. Circumstances have changed and the world is not what it was. In these times, we are in need of steady leadership without a hint of doubt of legitimacy.

"Those of you who would argue that Prince Radek not be granted the throne but merely another regency, I would remind you of the example we have before us of our neighbor, Atalan." There was a startled silence at that and even Radek blinked in surprise. The Duke of Norfolk continued, pacing the length of the chamber. "During the reign of Lord Kinsey as regent of Atalan, we witnessed the collapse of the country's military might and influence in the world. The strides made in recovering from the Ori were lost. Queen Elizabeth struggles daily to rebuild her country after the ruin brought about by a regent. And we ourselves heard the proof that the man attempted to kill his own sovereign and take what was not his."

Frederick ignored the discomfort in the room and swept his gaze along the rows of faces. "It is time for Iolan to choose again. We must make certain our choice is the best one, based on facts and law, not on whims and power struggles. And Norfolk says the law should prevail."

Chatter erupted in the room but it swiftly crystallized into the assembly of Iolan's nobility speaking with a single voice as they turned towards Radek.

He stood up and silenced them with a hand. "I understand your wishes, my lords. I will consider your decision and inform you of my own in the morning." He hastened from the room before anyone could press him to speak further.

He had some thinking to do.

*~*~*~*

The sun was casting long shadows over the gardens when Jeannie finally found Radek in the room they used for Lukas' lessons. She'd had to hunt for him for some time, looking in his private study and even going to his bedchamber despite the risk of scandal. Of course, it made sense to her now that she'd located him. Word of the assembly's decision was everywhere, and privacy was going to be a rare and precious commodity for the king-elect of Iolan.

Her heart beat uncomfortably fast every time she thought of him in those terms.

Radek looked up from the book he was leafing through and smiled. "I was hoping you would think to look here." The smile was trying to be mischievous but not quite succeeding. Too much had happened in too short a time.

She smiled back, however. "It took me longer than I like to admit to think of it," she confessed.

He reached for her and as soon as she took his hand he drew her close and kissed her lingeringly. They had stolen one or two moments since her return to the capital but never had more than mere seconds alone until now. When the kiss ended, Radek looped an arm about her waist but looked back down at the book.

She wanted badly to ask him about his decision, but felt instinctively that Radek needed to speak of it first. Lacing her hands together on top of his shoulder, she saw the book was an illustrated history of the country lying open in his lap to a two-page drawing of a battle scene.

"Do you recognize this?"

She nodded. "It's the Battle of the Marshes."

Several generations ago, Radek's ancestor had confronted a nobleman who was rebelling against the crown, and the fighting had stretched through the marshlands towards the eastern borders. The king had been victorious, but not without a brutal and messy campaign. The picture book, of course, simply showed a number of armored men tramping about in the mud. There was no mention of the disease and sickness many of the men experienced in the fetid air of the swamps, nor the loss of animals and material as well as life.

He ran his finger over one of the pages. "When my tutors explained the full extent of this battle, it was the first time I became truly afraid of ruling a country." Jeannie looked at him in surprise. In all the time she'd known him, Radek had never discussed this aspect of his childhood. He seemed to understand her expression, for he added, "I was told from when I was very young that I was my father's heir. My tutors and my family, even the servants never failed to remind me that it was my duty to take my father's place. I had not questioned it in the slightest, until that day."

His cheeks turned slightly pink. "I knew I was intelligent, and that I was being taught things I would need to know. I had not doubted by own ability to rule until I considered the possibility of having to lead men into battle, to fight a war and see others die on my orders. I was never suited to be a soldier."

"You would do what you have to do, Radek," she said quietly.

"That does not mean I would be any good at it," he retorted with a tiny smile.

She smiled back, but she added, "You would try. That is the most important thing. It's what separates the good from the evil people of this world. No one succeeds all the time, you know that. The important thing is to keep trying to do right."

Radek nodded. He withdrew his arm and held the closed book in both his hands. "It was my duty," he said again. "That was how everyone spoke of it. My duty to succeed my father and rule. I was never asked if it was what I wanted or not."

He walked over to the shelves and replaced the book. Jeannie didn't follow, almost afraid to disturb his train of thought.

"My sister wanted it. She made no secret about that from the time she was a girl." Radek looked out the window at the peaceful evening. His voice dropped lower. "Jeannie, I have never told anyone this, but it was never something that was merely my duty. I wanted it."

He glanced back at her, as if afraid of her reaction to that admission. "I did not believe I was perfect or invincible, or that it would be easy. I did not enjoy the scrutiny or the platitudes. But I wanted to be King of Iolan."

Jeannie forced her mouth to close from where it had been hanging slightly open. Radek turned away while she tried to control her shock. How many times had she heard comments about Radek's lack of ambition? So many people in the country believed he was lacking in ambition, that his weakness was why his sister was able to steal his throne. The common perception was that the prince had been relieved not to be forced to rule because it did not suit his temperament. She had thought as much herself.

She should have known better by now, she thought. Radek was a quiet man of deep emotions. Either from self-preservation or preference, he kept his thoughts to himself almost all the time, except with his closest and most trusted friends. She'd witnessed enough people underestimating him in the last year, she should have learned her lesson.

Forcing herself to find her voice, she took a step closer. "And so you will accept the request of the assembly, and take your rightful place as king."

Now he looked at her in surprise. She'd been careful never to indicate her feelings regarding the outcome of the dispute between Radek and his sister, but she wanted him to know now that she had supported him then, too.

He nodded slowly. "I will. I had given up this future some time ago, and I never would have wished it to come about in this fashion, but now that it is before me again, it is the answer to my younger ambitions and my duty to my country."

He turned and walked towards her, anxiety and determination mixing in his eyes. "And yet there is part of me that would turn it aside in a heartbeat if I had to." He touched her cheek gently. "Those days in the mountains with you seem like a dream, something too perfect to have been real. If I were forced to choose between having them again and the throne of my country, I do not know what I would do."

Jeannie wanted to say something, but even though she had considered all the possible outcomes of this moment, she could only struggle to keep breathing as Radek took her hands in his.

"Do not make me choose, my love. I know it is not in either of our natures to rush into a decision such as this so hastily, but I fear the world will not give us time to deliberate. I cannot do this without you. Marry me, Jeannie."

She squeezed his hands, more to keep herself upright than anything else. "But what about the assembly? The nobility will surely object to the King of Iolan marrying a widowed woman of common birth..."

"The assembly can go to hell," Radek growled, in one of his rare flashes of ferocity that, she was ashamed to admit, sent a thrill coursing down her spine. He drew her closer. "They denied me my crown, and now they beg me to take it. They will not do this and then dictate my every move. My future is mine to share with whomever I choose, if she will have me."

There were so many questions that needed to be asked, so many problems that would require answers she didn't have yet. Jeannie looked into his eyes. Did any of those things matter? She would have loved him if he had been a laborer or a farmer. She did not love him less now that he would be king. How could she turn away the chance to be his wife, under any circumstances?

She cupped his cheek in one hand, and whispered, "I will." Radek let out a nervous breath she hadn't realized he'd been holding. His lips turned up into a smile just before they captured her own, and they both forgot the confusion and uncertainty of the country, the myriad of problems and issues that would need to be dealt with in the court, and everything outside the door of the room, staying hidden away inside until all the light had faded from the gardens into a peaceful night.  



End file.
